a dramatis personae

I’m kinda surprised when I logged on to my friendster blog and find out that they - finally - oh my God has adopted wordpress engine. The finest blogging engine ever invented, written in php and has mesmerize millions of people (including me - oh see how I put it in my words).

This is good news, now people can finally have a serious blogging on friendster without having to pay $$ in advance. Forget that crappy old friendster blog’s dashboard which is quite stupid, hail friendster blog! Now I can get to write - IN STYLE!

Apart from being awesome, there’s one issue about the legal aspect - which is bothering me. That is, they (friendster) didn’t put any credit whatsoever about their newest toy. I mean, okay I know wp is free and all you got to do is install ‘em in your server but this is friendster and by all means they use it for all their clients and okay if it is completely free even for friendster they still owe wp a good credits (it’s about morality dude).

written in subjective manners

Blog warning for reader: I wrote this in such conditions that I cannot do extra research on legal matters of friendster adopting wp engine without crediting.

regret regret

Alas, I cannot verify the news since it is just a first impression on the new friendster blog but hey this isn’t a bid deal! They should’ve thought about it in the beginning and I’m quite sure it’s okay, besides…

it’s wickedly awesome!!

It’s clean, cool, flexible, easy to use! It’s WORDPRESS! My favorite blogging platform for all time!

My short holidays are over and it’s time to review it, bottom to top - one at a time ;p
Many good stuff happens on my short holidays, some of them are very good, with abundant blessings — awesome one might say. Hence, the emotions and all has make it difficult to describe it in words so I might start on the most simple and somewhat joyful activity I’ve done (you’re a lazy blogger lix, admit it ;-p).

So I played this particular game a lot, it’s Soul Calibur IV on X360. And now what’s interesting is that I don’t even know why I played it - a lot.

I’ve never been that into fighting games. I have a hard time getting past the fact that:

1. Basically, you’re fighting in a 2D world — forward, back, up, down — which I mean, come on, I have actually played Crysis, so it doesn’t exactly feel state of the art.

2. Real mastery seems to involve memorizing a hell of a lot of
special move combos, which pointless.

Nevertheless I’ve been playing a lot of Soul Calibur IV for some reason.       
            

I think it’s partly because the environments and the characters just look
so unbelievably beautiful. I suppose it’s a trade-off — the more
pre-rendered animations and non-destructible, non-accessible areas
there are, the prettier and more detailed they can make everything
look. And everything does look damn pretty.

And it’s easy! I am the lowest, most bottom-feeding species of
fighting-game player, lower even than the lizardmen on 6th floor, so I mostly resort to a lot of random
button-mashing, punctuated by occasional blocks and one or two actual
power-combos that I’ve bothered to figure out. But even that, which is
pathetic, gets me pretty far.

But now I have a dilemma. Up till now I have been playing as various
Ladies, mostly Xianghua, because let’s be honest, the stuff they do with breast-physics-modeling
in this game is beyond anything anybody has ever done anywhere, in any
medium, in the history of entertainment. But unfortunately Xianghua is
not exactly overpowering in a fight.

Now take  Algol, I don’t really know who Algol is, but dude is about 3 meters tall, and
he’s so powerful his feet don’t even touch the ground when he walks
half the time. He doesn’t even bother to carry a sword, because
different weapons just sprout out of his body at odd moments when he
needs them. Algol is trouble in a fight. He’ll ring you out in about 5
seconds if you even look at him. That’s who you want to be.

Unfortunately, he has no breasts. It’s a dilemma.

Now, have I freaked you out?

I’ll post more on my holidays activity later,

Cheers!

"Doing the world is doing what you are. Practice is realizing what you do, actualizing the world."
-excerpt from St. Nadie in Winter by Terrance Keenan

Is there anyone who has not thought that joy must be carefree, that it is freedom from burdens of life, of self and others? It is not carefree. It is full of cares. It is everything.
It is the windows of the heart thrown open willingly to the manyweathers of the world.

A certain moment often offers a certain joy and through that we learn to distinguished certain moment of truth and a certain moment of lies. What we need is just a little bit of trust.

What is trust? Trust is not faith, though we often use it that way. People without faith can trust enough to go to sleep at night. Lying in bed, thinly clothed, closing eyes, letting go … in this world? What else if not trust? It takes other forms.

Trust is fallible. There may be monsters under your metaphorical bed. Most of us trust that we are normal. What could normal possibly mean?

Normal is the root of all war, to point that out let me tell you what makes a war’s a war. How many wars have been fought to destroy those who are not normal according to someone’s arbitrary standards? This I presume, happens to all of us on daily basis yet we rarely seen it coming.

Is such trust misplaced? Trust, commonly used to implies a value but it is actually an action (rather than "we trust goodness" we tends to "act accordingly to just"). And when we can act accordingly we can trust appropriately. We learn to trust ourselves and willing to let go to sleep tonight, and then we let go to wake up.

And such actions sometimes bode not very well in the end of the tunnel, when we trust someone or being trusted by someone, chances are things could get really bad. Either they or us that betray each other in a misleading moments of our life time.

The question is, what will you do when that trust is broken? Will you accept their apologies? Or in vice versa, will you bow down and ask for forgiveness? Is it really possible to patched that broken trust?

As I consider myself as a dramatis personae, a man attached to a strings,
I know I do some bad things and I have broke many people’s trust, many strings of trust including the one that was held by someone I love.

I know I will die. So do you. Can you live with that knowledge? Do you have a choice? Is mortality a gift? A pointless question. Still, another day of life, what luck! Still have time to make up for everything, so here we go..

For her, the center of my universe,
I’ve lost something important because of small things
The door to you vanished without a sound
The more I wish for your happiness
The more selfish I become
But still, I want you to stay, and I always did
When my wish comes true, I’ll be crying
At the center of my universe, that’s where you belong.

I’m sorry, if the joy once we had is a care free joy.

All my mistakes. I know I will die. I know I live. So I’m gonna breathe them all.

I have been really really busy in these past weeks. Well, to really point that out at a micro level precision let me describe what a normal week for me is.

A normal week for me usually consists of school, assignments, laporan praktikum yang menggila(!duh!), essays, exams,
small group, weight watchers (lol), gym time, and maybe a little study time in between. And let’s not begin to talk about weekends! All the time I couldn’t fit
into the week, I try to make up for on the weekend. This is just not
possible.

I’m always busy, and I think my grades are going to suffer because of it. I need to manage my time more carefully now. Granted, being busy is a good thing. But the most important thing to me right now is my grades and my school. I HAVE
to get at least a 3.0 GPA this semester to fulfill my target. Most of my grades are, well… let’s say mediocre; I got an A on my production process, that’s as predicted before ^^ and another A on my english (dude only two a’s..). Got 5 B’s, those happens on my calculus, engineering mecahanics, iti100’s (some thinks I should be proud of it lol, “bu B” OMG) and in some insignificant courses haha. The rest is pretty… let’s say again mediocre. Yep straight 16 C’s (OMG). Yes! Refer me as the infamous mediocre personae.. Well, since life won’t forgive mediocrity this is the right time to change. Now or never lix, take some action asap.
This semester though, I have a pretty good feeling that I’ll do good to achieve the target. I’m pretty sure did good on the production process once again yesterday. Some technical difficulties on mechatronics and yet there’s still some “ke-fanaan” on operational research exams (one that I regret so much).  I’ve
been getting mediocre grades in almost all of my Fundamentals of Industrial Engineering courses (the iti’s), but I have a few extra credit points that I think I
will benefit from. No worst class for me this semester.. no meticulously cluttered courses that will ruin my day. But the fact that I’m not really prepared for the operational research exam makes me reflect on how good my performance was right now. No, failure is not an option actually. The thoughts of getting smacked on OR never comes up before and I have studied hard before, I really hoped for the best for this course. Oh my..

Moving on…
So I have to start focusing more on my next exam, that is the famous pim’s or p3 haha (wth). The fact that I’m writing this blog on my exam week give me a good point of view adjustment on how my performance should be. Raise up the standards and fly high.

Morale of the story:
“Life will never forgive mediocrity lix”
UTS! Here I come!

GOOD LUCK!!
You know you know your stuff…
Dont stress any more! You know your stuff!!
Don’t
study after lunch on Monday, get a massage, get your stuff ready to
bring to the exam, and TRY to get to bed early…
Have your mom call
you in the morning, just in case you over sleep…
RELAX!! You know
that you’re smarter than the guys drooling next to you… Let me know how it goes when you recoup from your hangovers! :p

Love is a rebellious bird that nobody can tame, and you call her quite in vain if it suits her not to come.
Nothing helps, neither threat nor prayer.
One woman talks well, the other’s mum… But, it’s the other one that I prefer.
She’s silent but I like her looks.
Love! Love! Love! Love!

Love is a Bohemian child, it has never, ever, known the law…
love me not, then I love you but then if I love you, you’d best beware!

The bird you thought you had caught beat its wings and flew away…
love stays away, you wait and wait… But, when least expected, there it is!
All around you, swift, so swift, it comes, it goes, and then returns …
you think you hold it fast, it flees and when you think you’re free, it holds you fast.
Love! Love! Love! Love!

Love is a Bohemian child, it has never, ever, known the law;
love me not, then I love you but then if I love you, you’d best beware!